Love deserves our support, in whatever form it takes

I see most people’s negative reaction to same-sex marriage as steeped in their own fear, culture shock, and unconscious projections. I see people follow whatever their religion or culture has taught them instead of thinking this issue through for themselves.

Should same-sex couples be allowed to marry?

This isn’t a question to give a knee-jerk, “ooh, I feel funny about that” response to. It’s bigger than that. Look at the anti-miscegenation laws that kept mixed race couples from marrying in the past. I’m sure a lot of non-racist people back then felt “funny” about mixed race couples, because it was new and different. It threatened the status quo.

But the real question, the important question is, how many people — adults and children — suffered because of that small-minded text written into the law books? This is people’s lives we’re talking about! Just because you or I privately don’t understand the attraction or start visualizing what goes on in someone’s bed and is none of our business, or just because our pastor or priest tells us it’s a sin, doesn’t give us the right to negatively affect others’ lives to that extent by telling them they can’t marry the person they love, when their love harms no one else. In fact, it’s really none of our business.

Would you want anyone telling you that you can’t marry the person you love? That’s the only question we need to ask ourselves in order to come to the right answer. “Do unto others …” The Golden Rule applies here, and I don’t understand when religious people can’t see that.

I’m a romantic, and I’ve seen friends and family members who wanted to find the right partner or struggled in relationships.

When two people find each other and make a relationship work, that’s something to be celebrated, not stymied. If we’re pro-family, why can we not be for every family? Every marriage.

We need to rise above our base emotions and our fears about this, and be more giving, more thoughtful, less judgmental, and ensure above all that we do no harm. In my heart I know it’s the right thing to do.

I urge every straight person who can begin to understand why a same-sex couple wants a lasting relationship to become an activist on their behalf. They are a minority, and that means they can’t get there alone. It takes votes, and writing to representatives. It takes changing people’s minds.

Love deserves our support, in whatever form it takes.

One comment on “Love deserves our support, in whatever form it takes

  1. Lucy says:

    I agree absolutely with what you’ve said. I realize that there are those out there who are against gay marriage for religious reasons, however I was under the impression that there is a separation between church and state. Religious objections should have no place when discussing a civil marriage.

    For those of us who are straight, please be the voice of compassion and tolerance, especially to those who aren’t. Everyone has the right to be in a recognized marriage with the partner that they love and have chosen to spend their life with.

    I feel lucky to live in a country that has legalized gay marriage. While there were those who objected, common sense and egality prevailed.